


Coming and...Going?

by liquidheartbeats2



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidheartbeats2/pseuds/liquidheartbeats2
Summary: Every time Barry and Iris have sex, Barry explodes (though not the way Iris had hoped) and disappears.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West
Comments: 22
Kudos: 42





	Coming and...Going?

The first thing Barry saw when he walked through the door was Iris, wearing pink leggings, bent over in front of their bookshelf, looking for -- honestly, who cared. She had always been beautiful, but her body was absolutely mesmerizing in workout gear. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off her if he wanted to. 

She retrieved a book from the bottom shelf and stood up straight, taking a moment to thumb through its contents. He gently closed the door, careful to not alert her of his presence, and tiptoed over to where she stood. His arms slinked carefully around her 5’4 frame, hugging her tight.

“Hey there, gorgeous.” 

Iris fell into his embrace and tilted her head for a cheek kiss. “Hey babe,” she said with a bright smile. 

He obliged her first, but Iris knew that it wouldn’t be long before he was tempted to dip his mouth towards her collarbone, then to the straps of her sports bra-- and she had too much work to do later, to deal with the what came after. She attempted to turn from him, but he held her in place, peppering her neck with slow, wet kisses. 

Heat surged through her body, arousal building with every kiss. She pressed her eyes tight, attempting to suppress the desire within her, and pulled away from him with a flirtatious laugh, hoping it would soften the blow, but when she looked back up at him, he looked disappointed. 

“Don’t look like that, baby,” Iris said, pointing to the book she was holding “I’m doing research for an article.”

Barry started to nod in resignation, but his eyes caught the title on spine of the book. “You’re writing about.. slow cooker recipes?” 

Iris smiled nervously. “Oh, um. Well, no. Not exactly. ”

He slanted her a suspicious glance, and folded his arms. “Then why are you holding a cookbook?”

Iris opened her mouth to respond, but when a believable answer wouldn’t come, Barry frowned.“You don’t want to have sex with me,” he said, offense clear in his voice. 

Barry was not the pushy type of husband, but it’d been over a week since they’d made love, and he was just about to pop. 

The look on his face worried Iris. “Oh, honey,” - she took a step forwards, arms oustretched --, “I do want to have sex with you.” 

Barry blew air through his lips and pivoted his body away from her in an infantile display. Iris tilted her head, endeared. He was always so level headed, so she indulged his pouting now and again. She walked to the spot in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Barry, I really do want to have sex. You know how much I enjoy our time together. But we can’t just pretend like your little -- problem -- doesn’t exist.”

Barry sighed, not wanting to talk about his little problem. Which, would, for most men, be finishing too soon. But, of course, his sexual mishaps were bigger than that. 

He finished too strongly. 

So strongly, that he usually, well, exploded -- no not that way -- in a haze of light, then ended up in the speed force. At least that’s what had happened the last four times they’d had sex. 

The first time it happened, Iris nearly had a heart attack, thinking she’d not only killed him, but that she wouldn’t even have a body to bury. When he returned ten minutes later, completely naked, sweaty, and frazzled, he explained to her that he’d somehow ended up in the speed force. 

Something that didn't make Iris feel much better. This was new territory even for them. Oddly enough, Barry wasn’t all that concerned. 

“Oh, come on, babe. It’s not that big of a deal.” 

Iris flexed her eyes at him. “Being sucked into the speed force every time you..cross the finish line...sounds like a big deal to me.”

“I’ll admit, it’s not normal, but neither is having super speed; this is probably just a side effect.”

“But it could be something serious?”

“It’s not.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I feel fine. Amazing actually. I think you’re overreacting.”

Iris gasped. She’d tried to be sensitive to Barry, but his nonchalance was beyond annoying. “Barry,” Iris said slowly, as if she was the teacher of a remidial sex education course, “You literally explode when you cum and end up in another dimension.”

He shrugged, proving that she didn't have much patience to withstand complete and utter idiocy from a literal genius. 

“Barry! I do not want to have to put together a search party for my husband every time we make love,” she replied, voice chock full of annoyance. 

Barry scoffed, raising a finger. “Hey, I was only gone a few minutes.”

“The first time. But how long were you gone the last time?” 

Barry lowered his head, shamefully. “Three hours, “he muttered. 

Iris placed a hand to her ear. “What was that?”

“Three hours, okay!”

“Exactly. You were gone longer than the time it took to--”

“Hey!” 

Iris sighed. “I’m not having this conversation .” She walked past Barry to the couch where her phone was sitting and scrolled through her contacts. 

“Where are you doing?”

“Calling Cisco and Caitlin. We need the team’s help.”

“Uh, no! We don’t.”

“You’re right. _You_ need their help.” Iris pulled up Cisco’s name and placed the phone up to her ear. 

Barry rushed over to where Iris stood, and took the phone. “Iris. Wait.”

Iris frowned. “Barr. You need to be checked out.”

“Not by them. This is a personal matter.”

“I understand that,” Iris said, gently, “ But they’re the only people qualified who know your secret. They’re the only option.”

“Actually, there is an option. I can let you fuck me to death and my best friends never have to know that I’m misfiring during sex.”

Iris couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh come on, baby. They’re professionals. How bad could it be?”

***************************************************************************************

“Cisco!” Iris rushed over from a very pink Barry, who looked on from the gurney in horror, towards Cisco, who was laughing maniacally on the floor. “Get up right now!”

The engineer continued to roll around, clutching his chest as he tried to reconcile what Barry --well Iris since Barry had been too shy -- had just told him. 

Iris lurched towards Cisco, though she had no plans to do him serious harm, but Caitlin, who was trying her best to hold her own composure, stepped in between Iris and her best friend. “Iris, honey. Wait. He -- well we -- were just caught off guard.” The taller woman leaned down and grabbed Cisco by the hand. “Come on. Barry and Iris need us,” adding, “This could be serious,” when he didn’t immediately stand. 

Finally, Cisco put himself back together and stood from the floor. He looked to Barry, who now was as red as a tomato, and felt kind of bad. “I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have laughed.”

Barry waved away his apology. “It’s okay, I get it. This is...ridiculous. And embarrassing.”

Cisco chuckled. “Yeah it is.” 

Iris stood, arms folded, now next to Barry. “So are you guys going to examine him? Run some tests?”

“Yes. Of course. But first, we have to ask you guys a few questions.”

“Okay,” Barry and Iris said together. 

Caitlin walked to her desk and grabbed a clipboard and a pen, and sat down on a stool. “Now, these questions might be a little...invasive, but I promise I won’t ask anything not relevant to finding a solution.”

“Let’s just get this over with. Please,” Barry pleaded. 

Caitlin nodded. “Okay. Well, let’s start with something easy. How long has this been happening?”

“About a week,” Iris said. 

“Okay, so this is a recent occurrence,” Caitlin noted. “And how many times has it happened.” 

“Four times.” 

“Damn, you hit four times in one week,” Cisco replied, with a laugh until he noticed the nasty scowl Iris had directed at him. "Sorry, Iris."

Iris rolled her eyes, then turned her attention back to Caitlin. “Next question, please.” 

With Iris’s attention off of him, Cisco gave Barry an air-five, and mouthed the words, “You’re the man.”

Barry stifled a laugh to avoid Iris’s wrath. 

“Now, tell me exactly what happens, when Barry...disappears,” Caitlin continued. 

“Well,” Iris started, since she was the one with the best vantage point. “He just explodes --or, should I say, implodes as it’s not like he’s ripped to shreds or anything,-- and disappears.“

“And are there, sparks or lights or anything like that.”

Iris nodded. “Lightning, yes. Sparks. No. Right before it happens, everything turns white. Then, he’s just gone.” 

Caitlin noted her response. “At what point during intercourse does it happen?”

“When he...you know,” Iris replied timidly.

“Is that accurate, Barry?” 

His gaze was slanted towards the floor. “Mhmm.”

“Interesting,” Caitlin said. “So, his orgasm is triggering his link to the speed force somehow.”

Iris shrugged. “I guess,” she responded, since her husband was being less than forthcoming. “We literally had to stop doing it standing up because one time I ended up on the floor.”

“Iris”! Barry yelled. “She didn’t ask all of that.”

“What? It’s true. And I still have the bruise to prove it.”

Cisco turned up his nose. “Umm. Yeah. That’s definitely TMI.”

“Actually,” Caitlin interjected, “It might be relevant.”

“How could that possibly be relevant?” Barry asked, face slowly tinting itself pink again. 

“Well, you’ve been together, what, three years? And it’s never happened before. If you’ve incorporated new positions or techniques, it might explain why this is happening all of a sudden.”

Barry thought back over the last week, searching his mind to see if anything stuck out to him. A satisfied smile settled in over his face. “Well, we did stop using condoms.”

Iris gasped, clocking him in the shoulder. “Barry!” 

Barry shrugged. “What?”

“That’s personal.”

“Yeah. But the positions we have sex in, aren't”

“That’s different.”

“Guys.”

“Different? How so?”

“I don’t know. Okay?” She said, arms folded. “But you don’t just drop ‘we stopped using condoms’ out of thin air in front of our friends.”

“Oh, now they’re friends. Before, they were ‘professionals.’”

“Guys!” Caitlin screamed. “This is uncomfortable for all of us.”

“Got that right,” Cisco, cut in. 

“But we need to know these things in order to come up with a diagnosis.”

“You’re right, Caitlin, we’re sorry,” Iris replied. “Look, maybe this will be easier if I let Barry handle it alone.” 

“You’re leaving?”

“I already told them everything from my end. Only you can fill them in on what happens in the speed force.”

Barry nodded in agreeance. “Okay.”

Iris leaned over to kiss Barry on the cheek, then stood to leave. “Call me as soon as you know something, alright?” She said to Caitlin. 

The doctor nodded. “Will do.”

When Iris was out of earshot, Cisco strolled over and took a seat near the gurney. “So. Dude. Four times, eh?”

Barry shrugged. “Well. You know--”

“Would you describe your avarage amount of ejaculate during orgasm as normal?” Caitlin asked, cutting off this inappropriate male bonding moment. 

“Well…”

Cisco looked to Caitlin in horror. “Umm. Eww.”

Caitlin glared at her friend. “Look, if you’re not mature enough for this conversation, you should step out.”

Cisco threw his hands up, thankful for an excuse to leave. “Fine by me! This is too much for my virgin ears. I’ll be back later to help you with a cure,” he said, before opening a breach and jetting off.

Caitlin shot him a sympathetic glance. “Two down.”

Barry sighed, they were never going to get anywhere like this. “Can we do this another time?”

“Actually, I don’t have but a couple of more questions.”

“Thank God.”

“But I do think that, in order to give you an accurate diagnosis, I need you -- and Iris -- to do something for me…”

Barry narrowed his gaze. "And what's that?"

“Make a tape…”

**Author's Note:**

> I was in a silly mood when I wrote this. Please don't take it too seriously, and please let me know what you think! :)


End file.
